“For a while there, the skies over Suamico were darkened with senior citizens flying overhead.
A virtual blitzkrieg of septuagenarians, all coming in from the west at breakneck speed, their arms and legs dangling, their bodies twisting in the sky. At least one of them had their eyes tightly closed, but some appeared to actually be smiling as their hair and clothing flapped in the wind.
OK, I’m exaggerating. It was no blitzkrieg. There were only four of them. Well, three, really, because one was an octogenarian. Three 70-somethings and an 80-year-old, all whizzing overhead on the zipline at the Brown County NEW Zoo & Adventure Park.
Four may not really seem like a lot, but how many senior citizens have YOU ever seen at one time on the zipline?
Yes, yes, we’re all well aware of the active lifestyle that Baby Boomers are carrying into their Golden Years. Ninety is the new 70. One-hundred-and-twenty is the new 90. That’s been rammed down our throats since Geritol started advertising on prime-time TV.
But a zipline? That’s scary high and scary fast. That generates some serious g-force, especially when the “g” stands for “geriatric.” A senior citizen hurtling off Brown County’s 100-foot tower? Well, OK, it’s a 50-foot tower but it’s perched on the crest of a 50-foot hill. An elderly person just has to hit one little sparrow on the way down and there’d be nothing left but the feathers and maybe a cardigan sweater fluttering aimlessly to the ground…..”